One year ago, I was sitting in a little room having a psychic tell me that as part of my life purpose, I was going to be giving mediumship readings. At the time, I was giving psychic readings to friends for fun and I had started to get glimpses of deceased relatives. Now, I’ve got to let you know that I always had this deep seeded fear of the dark and of "ghosts” with no logical explanation as to why. Of course, I’m sure that watching the "Poltergeist” movies as a kid didn’t help! Well, the psychic’s information did nothing for these fears, if anything it made them worse, now "they” would be looking for me.
About a month later, the same psychic asked me to give her a mediumship reading. I was really nervous, but I felt assured that I was in good company if I was to communicate with the dead. She had told me that the spirit would first present identifying facts and then give the person a message. Okay. So I connected with her energy and in popped a vision of a man. With the visual description, she was easily able to identify him as her grandfather. Then words came into my mind for a message for her and they completely made sense to her. Well, that was pretty easy.
The next day I gave a reading for a friend holding his ring. Suddenly I felt very racy inside, like energy was moving fast. Next, I started to smell cigar smoke. I was really excited about this as I’d never had a psychic smell before. These factors helped him to easily identify the spirit as his father. Then I received a message that provided necessary guidance for him.
Well, as long as I didn’t think of the fact that this meant a spirit was in the room with me, I thought this was pretty cool. However, I didn’t pursue trying to do this again for some time. I still had this fear that if I started to do this regularly, I would have spirits lined up in my bedroom, at night, in the dark, freaking me out.
One day, I decided if this was something that was going to come up for me, I needed to get educated, with the hope that education would dispel some of the fears.
I read a couple books written by mediums. From these I learned that, yes, indeed, spirits can come into your bedroom at night and freak you out, because they want you to communicate a message to a loved one. However, at the same time, I also learned that one can set boundaries. Therefore, I have set the boundary that there will never be communication with spirits at night and that I will only communicate with that which is for my highest good.
Months passed and the worry of spirits retreated. Then one day, I was sitting with a friend when a relative came through who had died of a lung disease. I suddenly had a hard time breathing and needed to give a message. I couldn’t see a spirit, however I knew it was there because the breathing problem made sense and the message made sense: it was concerning one of the last conversations this friend had had with his father. There was a compliment his dad had given him about his voice. While I was giving the reading, I saw the word "voice”, but the person didn’t make reference to it, so I sloughed it off as unimportant. However, for three hours I couldn’t get the word out of my mind. I can just imagine that his dad was following me around saying, "he needs to remember my complimenting him on his voice.” Finally, I shyly asked the friend if his father had said something about his voice. He almost started to cry. His dad was encouraging him to still pursue his dreams of doing projects that required him to use his voice. I began to realize the importance of being able to communicate messages to the living.
About a week later, I was receiving a reiki treatment from another friend when an image of an elderly woman appeared to me with the word "Granny.” After the treatment, I told my friend about this. I was confused that there was no message. She was excited – she had felt there was a different energy guiding her in giving the reiki treatment, someone who spoke quieter and more gently. Before the treatment, she had been questioning if any spirit could guide her or if it could only be her own guides. So, in ths case, there was no message necessary. It taught me that it is important to just say what comes.
With these two spontaneous readings, I knew that "they were back.” This reinstated my fears at night about spirits getting the "heads up” that I could communicate for them (as though they all commune at night and say "Hey, I know where we can go, that house over there, she can relay messages.”)
Once again, I felt that I needed more education. Within a week, I saw an ad for a medium that would be giving a presentation. I attended and it was fascinating. My partner and I began going for classes with him each Monday. With him, I felt I was able to practice in a safe environment. I did great at class, but was still fearful at night. Upon further reflection, I discovered that my fear was the risk of actually being taken over by these spirits. You know, like in the movies, where someone becomes possessed.
In the medium’s teachings, he conveyed that the spirit presents identifying information, as well as information the recipient does not know. At this point, relatives as asked to verify it’s accuracy; then the reading is finished with a message. He also encourages the recipients to only answer questions with yes or no so as not to give information. He taught how important it is for the recipient to know, without doubt, that he or she was visited by the relative in order for the healing to really take place. He also ensured me that he had never had an evil spirit enter him and take over his body.
Recently I had an experience that changed perception. For the past few months I have held monthly lightworker meetings at my home – simply having a group of healers get together to share information and mingle. One of the attendees was my medium friend who said that each time she had attended, she had seen two spirits in the house: one was an older man that appeared grumpy and one was a younger, happy man. Great. I refused to even try to connect with them (I knew what they would try to do!) and pretended they weren’t there. Then another friend offered to bring someone to the next meeting to help these spirits move on. This sounded like a great idea. The woman needed a medium, so it was planned that my medium friend would come as well and, together, they would do some ghost busting!
I had a feeling that this was going to be an important evening for me. Sure enough, the night arrived and my medium friend couldn’t make it. I was quickly nominated as the medium. Everybody gathered around me in a circle and she guided me into a light trance state. I was a little nervous but felt safe with such a great group of people around me.
She guided me along to communicate with the grumpy spirit first. It was fascinating. At first, I was simply relaying information to her; but shortly thereafter, it was as if I was him. I began speaking in first person. He was stuck in a vision where he could see his wife and child on the other side of a fire. His grumpiness was actually his frustration with the fire preventing him from being with them. He had no "evil” intentions. I was able to see the vision clearly. At first I didn’t mention the boy I saw, but then a very clairvoyant woman in the group mentioned that there was also a boy. I seemed to need that validation. We then called his wife to come down; and when she came in surrounded in light, he was able to go with her. He hadn’t realized that he had died and needed to go to the light.
Next was the young guy. Immediately it was like I became him, speaking in the first person again. He had neat energy; he was just having fun and didn’t realize there was a better place to go to. We had his former girlfriend come down to convince him to go. She also came down surrounded in light. I could physically feel when each of them left. It was such a fascinating experience! One of the other psychics was able to see that the spirits were practically sitting on me when I was talking in the first person. So, I have pretty much had a spirit enter me, therefore facing my greatest fear. I found it wasn’t scary at all; at the time or afterwards. I was still very conscious for the whole thing and there wasn’t anything "poltergeist-ish” about it at all. They were really just spirits that needed a little help. I ended up having a lot of compassion for both of them.
So, in the past year I have learned how important mediumship is for the relatives that are still here and for the spirits themselves. I often think about those two spirits in my house and what an honor it was to be able to help them move on to a better place. I’ve also learned that it’s spiritually correct to call them "spirits that have crossed over” as opposed to "the dead” or "ghosts.” So, I move forward in my journey with greater understanding and compassion.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 31st, 2007 at 11:01 pm and is filed under SPIRIT. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.