Our real life resides in the moment, along with our past and our future.
If we were to learn that in a class, really learn it, we might more quickly tap into the job we set up for ourselves before we came. But how do we live in the moment with our hectic schedules and commitments? And if we can’t live in the moment, then what could we think about that may help us get there?
We all have our ideas about it, and we could argue it many ways, but, as they say, all roads lead to Rome. Maybe that is the first lesson, learning that there is no right or wrong, but that each of us will reach our answers when we get there, and when we are ready for them. It is what it is and we can watch it, struggle with it, fight against it or just accept it. All choices are right for the time we make them.
As we experience and learn, though, we may make different choices so we can experience it all. Maybe that is what leads us on through our human experience: the lure of more experience. Taking the time to get all the facts we can and to look at things from as many perspectives as we can usually results in better decisions. At least that has been my experience so far.
What then, if we were going to break it down to the simplest form, would you like to pass on to your children so they can make their experiences count in their day to day life?
I am sure there are as many answers to that as there are experiences. For me, if I had to encompass my experience after many decades, I would say with some conviction that my life became easier when I finally learned the following few basic truths:
Appreciate what you have right now right in front of you to help yourself develop a positive attitude. No matter what you are going through appreciate something.
Do not carry “unsaidness” but do not talk before you lose the emotional attachment, and are able to treat the person you are talking to with respect. This I believe will help to develop healthy relationships
Be willing to listen as well as talk to develop meaningful conversations.
Set healthy boundaries and try to live by them but don’t be afraid to change them if they stop working for you
Remember that whatever you are going through right now, will not always be. All experiences, whether “bad” or “good” will change with time. Unlearned patterns repeat again and again, whether we like it or not, and we will learn them in the time frame that is right for us.
Those are the pre-requisites, as far as my experiences go. But the one thing that has made the most difference to me is the thought that “I am going through this anyway. The only control I truly have in any situation is whether I am going to be happy or miserable.”
If you choose happiness, whatever it is that you are going through will dissolve more quickly, and, I believe, will have less negative impact on those around us. I cannot know if this works for everyone., I only know that since I came to learn these lessons they have worked for me, so I am happy to put them out there for contemplation in the hopes they may help others as well.
Angela Hanuse is a local artist. She is an active member of the Federation of Canadian artists.