I went to a healing session recently with a practitioner of several different modalities. I had wanted to see her for several months, but I kept putting it off for one reason or another—mainly the money. How could I justify the expense when I have all these bills to pay, and children to feed? At one point while we were trying to get our schedules to connect, she said that we could work some kind of agreement out. Pride kept me from taking her up on that offer. I value healing work, and want to make sure there is a fair exchange.
Finally, though, the inner voice that was calling me to go see her could not be ignored any longer, and I decided to trust in the Universe that the money to pay for the treatment would come from somewhere.
She began by asking me what I would like her to work on. I told her I had been in a major car accident when I was 8 years old, and I had back problems because of that. The healing work started, and I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary. She confirmed areas that I know I need to work on, and urged me to trust my instincts. She said she kept seeing me as a great healer.
At the very end of the session, just as she was about to finish, I asked her to see if she felt a particular energy block. I almost didn’t ask. I was afraid of being told there was no blockage. That’s why I waited until the end. She worked on that area, even though it put us over time, and managed to remove the block. And then, as I was putting on my shoes to leave, the breakthrough happened. She made a suggestion to me, and the floodgates opened.
You see, after the car accident, the doctors and chiropractors told me I would have to live with pain for the rest of my life. And, as a little girl, I trusted and believed that they were right. Now, I know beliefs create reality, but when the healer made her suggestion, I was suddenly made aware I was carrying a false belief. The false belief was shattered, and I was left with an awareness of my own power, the potential to heal myself and walk away from the pain in my body.
I am fully aware that it is going to take a lot of work on my part. But for the first time, I welcome that work. For the first time, I am present "in my body with certainty and pride regardless of the body’s gifts and limitations,” to quote Clarissa Pinkola Estes (Women Who Run With the Wolves). I look forward to this adventure, healing my body along with my mind and spirit.
I have done work spiritually, emotionally and worked on my self-talk and my self-image. I have even done some healing work on my body. But I have never made a concentrated effort to restore my body, mind and spirit to their healthy, optimal, DIVINE state of being. I finally understand that all the parts have to work together. If I am destined to be a great healer, my first and greatest act of healing will be myself.
Since we are all connected, my wish is that by coming to this new understanding, others may also share in the new awareness. May you break through your false beliefs and realize your true power!
Oh, and I have no regrets about spending the money for the healing session. It was 100% worth it!
Mary Malinski is Priestess of the Circle of the Sacred Muse, an affiliate of the Aquarian Tabernacle Church of Canada.