Between Darkness & Light

Bridge photo by Courtney GrahamAs novelist Paulo Cohelo put it, “Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing is the worst kind of suffering.” 

  When you’re in the dark, contemplating your mistakes, the magic in life seems to be a distant sparkle that’s lost its strength. No matter how many colours you surround yourself with, things  still seem faded and bland. No matter how loudly you play your music, it sounds faint and muffled. No matter how tightly you squint your eyes, words on the pages of your book seem distorted and blurred. An influential teacher once told me, “In life, take what you can control, and own it. Forget everything else.” 

  So simple and pure. Yet so difficult and complex. Relentless efforts made to control every aspect of life are useless, as it is an impossible feat and will always leave you unsatisfied. I’m a definite believer in high expectations, but sometimes I don’t know how much my heart can handle. I cut my ropes and let myself fall. But the fall was much harder than I imagined. Lesson learned? Sure. Will it happen again? Most likely. The ups and downs, ebbs and flows, in this experience called life make us stronger, smarter, and give us inspiration to fly even higher. It’s that moment, in between darkness and light, that shines the brightest. In that moment, the colours scream out to you, the music bursts your ears, and the words pop off the pages. The breath-taking, heart-stopping reality snaps into place, filling your head with inspiration and your heart with butterflies. In that moment, anything is possible. The world is at your fingertips. 

  There’s a reason for this, that, and everything in between. Even though you rarely know the reasons why, trusting the universe, and its clever arrangement, will always guide the way though the darkness. 

  After brief moments of clarity, I’m always still left wondering the why’s of several things, situations, and feelings. But I have to keep telling myself that I’ll know eventually, when the time is right, and when I’m ready. In the meantime, I’ll continue dancing on the twisted, meandering, sometimes lonely, sometimes lavish, always interesting path I call life.

Courtney is an aspiring writer and photographer. A B.Sc. in Geography continues to take her around the world, hoping to find her way.