My husband and I have agreed to disagree regarding our opinion on a particular topic. The agreement is, I allow him to do life his way, and he allows me to do my life my way. I have a confession to make. He is WAY better at complying to our agreement than I am. I was boiling over in frustration the other day because he was so stubborn (my perception) and wouldn’t follow my advise. As I fumed about the kitchen I wondered how I was going to make him change. The frustration increased as I concluded I had tried everything and he just wouldn’t bend.

I was down to the last resort. I decided I was going to pray for his change. If I can’t change him, perhaps the Universal Intelligence can. This brought up a whole host of problems for me. I always tell my students you can’t pray for someone without their permission. We can pray for someone’s highest and best to manifest but my idea of what is best is certainly different than anyone else’s idea. So it is wrong for me to impose my ideals on someone else. Thus my struggle with my husband.

This isn’t just a personal story but rather a story that we can transfer to world issues. How often do we as a people feel others should do life our way? In our quest for peace, we push our culture and beliefs onto others. We assume we know what is best. I think it is best to live on Quadra Island and breathe the fresh ocean air. I think it is best to have a horse and a large vegetable garden and live on an acreage. What if the 4,168,123 other BC residents felt the same way? Quadra Island would no longer be the home of my dreams. I guess I am grateful we all are different.

There, standing in the kitchen, the light bulb came on. If I can’t pray for my husband’s change then I can pray for my own healing from my frustration. I can trust and know that I can move past these destructive feelings. He didn’t need help at all, I did. I began giggling at the absurdity of it all. Half an hour went by, a friend calls and gives my husband the same advice. He complies. The truth is, he didn’t change, I did.

I hold fast to my new awareness. I pray for peace, I pray for change and I know it begins with me.

Rev. Jill is a Religous Science Minister – her email is