Humanity Man

Well, hello there, my fellow zombies. I trust and hope you had the merriest of New Year’s. I sure did.

In fact, one of the days I had just before the holidays could be described as nothing less than spectcular!

The day was a dreary Tuesday, a few weeks before Christmas. Admittedly, it didn’t have the beginning of what would be commonly construed as a wonderful day. My alarm went off at 6:00am and I was absolutely beat. My wife and I had recently purchased a 6 week old kitten that had been rescued. Even though we had a nice kitty bed set up for him, Wilson (the kitten) decided to show us his appreciation by clambering up on our bed where he bit our feet playfully, wrestled with any piece of bare skin that escaped the covers, and as a coup de grace, he decided to let out a flood of urine on our comforter a grand total of fifteen minutes after my wife had arisen and placed him in the litter box.

But whatever, life doesn’t stop because of a cute (and increasingly annoying) kitten. I dutifully showered, shaved, and dressed in my sleep-deprived state. My wife and I groggily kissed each other goodbye and ventured off to work.

I didn’t have to go to my regular work site that day, however. As treasurer for my local union, part of my duties is to spend a few days a month in our union office.

I arrived at the office at 7:30am to a ranting and raving president who was extremely upset with a managerial decision made about an issue we had recently raised. After a brain-storming meeting on our response, I showed up at my desk to a Mount Kilimanjaro-sized paper stack, which, as our executive assistant kindly pointed out to me, at least 75% of said pile was extremely urgent.

Shrugging, I reminded myself to take one step at a time. I then proceeded to wade through a crazily hectic day that saw me almost successfully mow down the hill of paperwork, take three or four calls from members ranging from inquisitive to concerned to irate, attend a downright demoralizing meeting with a management group, and end with a frantic half hour search for (I somehow misplaced) my cell phone, my office keys, and my car keys. (I ultimately go 3 for 3 in finding them.)

A torturous workday done, I decide to hit the mall to pick up a couple Christmas presents that I had noticed in a flyer I had leafed through during lunch. After a tough trudge through a traffic-jammed parking lot (complete with fellow zombies honking, yelling, and flipping the bird at each other), I pushed and jostled through an ocean of humanity to find that the flyer items weren’t even in stock.

Defeated and a little deflated, I left the chaotic store, stopping to fuel up on the way home where the gas attendant mistakenly breaks my windshield wiper. Accepting his profuse apologies, I return home to find our garbage can overturned by the wind and its contents strewn about the yard. After tending to that little mess, I enter the house where I find, in no particular order, my new Rolling Stone magazine ripped apart by Wilson, a phone message from an unhappy colleague because I had forgotten and missed an important meeting I was supposed to attend, and a kitten-sized turd on our comforter to go with the urine stain Wilson had left earlier.

Sighing, I dealt with all that and then realized I didn’t remember to take meat out of the freezer that morning, so I threw a bland dinner of leftovers together just as my wife returned from work.

‘How was your day?’ she asked after greeting me with a hug and kiss.

I looked at her for a moment, pondering her query as the day’s events raced through my muddled brain. Watching her bend over to pet Wilson, I began to smile.

‘My day,’ I truthfully answer, ‘was freaking awesome.’

Now, my fellow zombie, I’m pretty sure you’re wondering how my day could be construed as being “awesome.” I mean, in no way would my day be classified as horrible, but awesome? Spectacular? Really?

The answer is yes, my dear zombie. For starters, I woke up that morning, and any day, on the right side of the ground—which is the best day any of us can have. I have a roof over my head, food in the cupboard, and the loveliest wife in the world. I belong to a union, and far from being the perceived group of lay workers, all’s we are striving for is respect, to be treated and paid fairly, and to return home to our loved ones safely at the end of another workday.

I live in a country, while far from being perfect, it’s a country that does not have bombs being dropped on it, does not have an average $0.50 a day working wage, and doesn’t have a government who jails and tortures it’s citizens merely because of differing opinions.

In short, my fellow zombie, once we clear through all the clutter and crap we experience in a day, all of our days are awesome days.

It just takes some of us longer than others to realize that.

Humanity Man resides on this wonderful but quirky planet we call Earth. He likes peace, love, and being on the right side of the ground. He dislikes war, hate, and grumpy mall parking lot drivers.