Love can be a many splendid thing
can’t deny the joy it brings,
dozen roses, diamond rings
dreams for sale and fairy tales.
Kelly Clarkson – Trouble with Love is
I am sitting at a holiday resort watching other couples. One guy just threw his arms up in the air, rolling his eyes as he followed his wife off to the pool. The couple beside me is sitting silently holding hands, sharing time and space and another couple are smooching in the middle of the foyer. It all looks different and it’s all in the name of love.
That first date… that first kiss… first fight… first make up…
If love can be a many splendid thing, why is the divorce rate so high?
Most of us know the pain that comes at the end of a relationship, so why do some of us keep ending them, when we were so in love with that person in the beginning? What changes? I believe we all know how to fall in love, but not all of us know how to stay in love.
Another line from that same song goes:
The trouble with love is
It will tear you up inside
In the movie, Love Actually, a young boy, Sam, confides in his dad that he is in love. The dad, who had been concerned for his son as he knew something was wrong, replied, "Is that it?” and Sam’s response was perfect when he said "what could possibly hurt more than being in love?”
I can remember recovering from a car accident when I was laid up in hospital with a broken back and many other injuries. Yet none of those injuries measured up to the broken heart I was suffering. My boyfriend and I had just broken up and the thought of being without him was much more painful than all of my physical injuries, morphine or not.
I swore I’d never love again,
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn’t worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name
Six months later I was back in the game. In my past, it seemed that once love called my name I couldn’t shut it down, that feeling became bigger than me. If I have always wanted to have a long term, committed relationship but don’t know how to stay in love, what am I supposed to do?
I went to school and learned the names of all fifty American States and their capitals, and I learned about scalene triangles; but nobody taught me how to handle my internal stress manager. Nobody taught me that as I give love, I also receive it.
Love and compassion are two of the greatest gifts we have to give. So why do we hold back? Why do we think that we have to wait for someone to say, "I love you”, before we say it back? Why do I count the nice things you do for me before I do something for you? Do we really need to keep it even? By doing something nice for you, I am rewarded with a feeling of love; so why do I even need you to do anything for me? I don’t need you to do anything for me, but you’d better.
"Why? Because we have been taught that things always have to be fair. That’s great, but why do we give so much and then stop because we aren’t getting anything back? I am not talking about the material stuff here. I could be, but I am talking about the "love” stuff.”
Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to let your loved ones know that you love them. Show them everyday with many small acts of love. Remember, always that Love is the answer.
Lorrraine Jensen is the author of Olive Juice Forever along with her husband Shawn. Their website is: www.olivejuiceforever.com