No need talk of all the stressors that seem to abound in all of our lives, so I won’t. What I would like to pass on to you is what I have learned about “ALLOWING”. My life was full of “yuck” and I spent a good portion of everyday – and much of the night – thinking about it or trying not to think about it. The mindset of “poverty/less than/not deserving/must-be-hard-work-or-not-worth-it/perfectionism” had nasty effects on my body, disposition and relationships.
I once took a sheet of paper and ticked it every time I had a negative thought and the results were very enlightening. We have at least 7,000 thoughts a day and if the majority or them are negative, no wonder we feel out of sorts. What normal human being wouldn’t? Then add to that the newspapers, television, economy, family problems and it gets really hopeless.
But how do we turn this around? How do we stop the monkey wheel? “Not an easy task”, you might say; especially for those of us who feel that we are actually doing something worthwhile when we worry, fret or are anxious. All of these activities are an interesting form of control that most of us do not even realize we are engaging in battle with. How much of what we worry/fret about actually happens? We seem to be wasting a lot of our precious life energy trying to control things that we cannot. We do have control over what we do with ourselves, but that is pretty well it. Worrying about the economy, our partner, kids, how others react just leaks our precious energy away.
The “Allowing Space” is an enchanted place where we simply are – we look for no answers, get into no dialogue with ourselves or others and just let the situation be while recharging our batteries and outlook. Getting to this place can be complicated or simple. The complicated way may be going to therapy for years. I offer you a simple way, that – with practice – will get you to a much better place.
Step 1 – Breathe slowly and deeply at least three times. Slow belly breathe and hold for at least 5 seconds.
Step 2 – Repeat comforting affirmations such as “I am calm, this too shall pass, I am relaxed…” until you feel your body relax and energy balance. At the beginning, this may take a while but keep practising anywhere and anytime.
Step 3 – When your mind has calmed down and seems to be waiting with expectation, you have reached the point of “allowing”. Here, you are open to looking for a solution that beyond the linear (which contains the notion that we have control over outcomes) to a more all encompassing outlook. Here, you will calmly ask for guidance from your Higher Power and then… wait. Allow guidance to be received.
Step 4 – Look around you with heightened awareness. You will begin to notice a certain book, bird, tree, song, children having fun. When this happens, you are being sent guidance, so take the time to listen, read, do something (it may even be fun). You are being sent guidance for the process you are going through; the process of finding balance.
Step 5 – Ask for proof that you are being sent guidance by your Higher Power by asking to see/hear/feel/dream a certain thing. Pick something that could happen but is unlikely to. A robin singing in a tree just for you it seems, your pet doing something in particular, finding a feather, seeing a number, hearing a certain song. The world is your oyster so have fun with it. You can ask for as many as you want. Your “sign” may not be apparent to you in exactly what you asked for but it will be close enough for you to know it as one.
Step 6 – Learning to trust what you are being given. Your Higher Power is very patient and will indulge you as long as you engage it. Try following the guidance. Have real fun with the kids, read that book, look for more signs that will help you find your solutions, leading to more balance.
Step 7 – Remember, this is a process and needs to be practised. You should get to a place of appreciation for the mysteries of life and your role in it. That is what I call the “Yumm”. Try it.
Kathy Trew is a Reiki Master, Reflexologist, Intuitive and Spiritual Teacher.