Once we leave our teens we tend to leave our dreams behind us. We get lost in the “doing” of adult life: earning a living, being a “success” and growing a family. Increasingly, we fill our time with television, the internet, busy-busy-busy… all until one day we wake up and realize that we have gone with the flow and ended up right here. And yet, we don’t know how or why or what to do about it… and often it doesn’t feel wholly right.
The problem is that we all want to fit in, to be one of the crowd and so along with filling our days with busyness and our nights with distraction, we have a tendency to mould ourselves to fit and be accepted. Any work or social situation will tempt us. We take on the mannerisms and behaviours of others – mirroring them – and covering up ourselves. Doing this over the years covers up who we really are and so along the way we get lost and unhappy. We push harder to reach for success and as we do so, things go out of balance – we forget ourselves and we start to beat ourselves up. We are not good enough. Putting on this mask throughout our lives just fuels this dangerous belief. A belief that I have found the majority of us have. It causes defensiveness, it can bring us to lie and hide, it can make us attack or be jealous and clingy. It is the reason why we have got to a point in life and wondered – “Isn’t there more to life”?
So what to do about it? Well, it’s easy. We just have to wake up and take the steps to release the stress and clutter in our lives, stop homogenizing who we are, sort out our beliefs and then out of the giving (which we will then have time to do!) and bliss, our dreams will reappear.
Here are my top ten tips, and if you apply them, they will re-ignite your dreams, allow grace to flood your life and let wonders unfold.
• Make a list of everything outstanding in your life. If you can deal with it and then bin each item, do it. Do it now. Sort out the everyday bits and pieces that are dragging you down and you will be lifted emotionally and mentally. Time and pressure will be released giving you the space to move inward.
• Watch less TV; do less. Take five minutes of silence every day. Notice when you use distraction to keep your mind busy. Aim to switch your mind off once in a while.
• Forgive yourself and others for any regrets and resentments. Just move on with your life and let them move on with theirs.
• Write down everything that you positively believe about yourself. Pick the five most empowering and memorize them. Write them in places where you can see them at least five times a day. When you read them feel them, feel the power of them.
• Write down all of your negative beliefs including “I am not good enough”. Ask yourself what makes them untrue and write down all of the reasons that they are untrue. Ask yourself where you learned each belief from and if the person or circumstance was a positive illustration of not being this belief. Decide to change and take on a new belief for the worst few. Add them to your list.
• Open your heart to love. Be brave and reveal yourself without your mask to the world. Shower kindness everywhere you go.
• Be grateful. Be thankful for even the tiniest blessings in your life and make it your aim to share your thanks with others.
• Ask for direction. Know that you are supported with love by your guides and angels and inside of you is your part of grace, god, source.
• Be positive. Choose only positive thoughts about yourself and others and positivity will become abundant in your world. Know that even when huge challenges appear you have all of the power to choose your reaction. Nobody else.
• Trust. Allow life to flow with you consciously in control, awake and in love with being. Take out your dreams from your keepsake drawer and shake them off with awe. Go get them.
Elizabeth Villani is an ordinary woman with an extraordinary message. A qualified coach and reiki master, in 2003 she woke up and jumped off the London treadmill.