This month’s article concerns an issue I see in my business on a regular basis: how we internally talk to ourselves and how the consequences of that self-talk permeates and influences our daily life.
Read with an open mind and ask yourself how often you have said these things to yourself; and, alternately, how often you have said different things to friends/family members or even strangers. *For easy reading I will refer to all 3 as "friend".
Your friend has lost 20 pounds with 30 more to go. You to them: "You look great, you are doing so well, I am so proud of you, that’s fantastic!”
You to yourself: "I still have 30 pounds to go. No celebration yet.”
Your friend has been exercising faithfully for 2 months and sees no change. You to them: "I am sure you have lost inches, you are definitely fitter, you must be sleeping better, I think you look smaller, keep it up – you will see changes soon – it takes time.”
You to yourself: "I quit. All this hard work for nothing! What a waste of time.”
It is a birthday party and your friend who is dieting eats cake and a hamburger and feels guilty.
You to them: "That is okay, it is a special occasion” (and you mean it).
You to yourself: "That is okay, it is a special occasion” (but you are so mad at yourself you eat even berate yourself, feel like you failed and or plan to not eat the next day).
Your friend’s jeans are getting a bit tight and she is upset.
You to them: "Don’t worry, spring is here and you will be more active as the weather gets better, did you wash them in hot water? You still look great.”
You to yourself: "I am so fat, I hate myself, I have been such a pig lately.”
Your friend lost a lot of weight and has now gained 10 pounds back and is feeling down.
You to them: "You look great, you have accomplished so much, you are so healthy now, you can get back on track. You know what to do, I can’t even tell, you look GREAT!”
You to yourself: "I am fat (and ugly, and a failure, and will gain it all back), and I look terrible…(forgetting your accomplishments).
Your friend has gained weight and doesn’t want to go to a spring party or a reunion.
You to them: "Who cares? It is you they want to see, not your body. You look good, let’s go shopping for a new outfit, don’t be silly.
You to yourself: "I am not going. I am too fat, I have nothing to wear (and you don’t go).
Your friend, at the local dance club, returns upset because a man gave her a dirty look and she thinks it
is because she is overweight.
You to them: "Don’t be silly (or a stronger phrase..), he probably wasn’t even looking at you, I don’t think so, he’s ugly, you look great.
You to yourself: "Let’s go – I am too fat to be here – or you sit there upset, want to leave, feel
uncomfortable and hate your body/yourself.
Do these things sound familiar?
Do you say these things to your friends who are trying to lose weight? Most importantly: Do you say these things to yourself?
Next time you say something negative to yourself about your weight – think of what you would say to a loved one/a friend and REMEMBER – treat yourself with respect, love and compassion. If you will
not give yourself some love, some slack, and some encouragement – how can you ever expect to love
yourself as you should?
Correct those negative statements to yourself and you will be happier and more at peace within yourself, and along your weight loss journey.
Tara McNeil, owner of "The Shape You’re In" has lost over 120 pounds and kept it off. Through personal experience and formal education she has many strategies that help with weight loss.